The swoll

I have my first case of the swells tonight. I drove up to Chicago after work today to be here for Dan's mom's Graduation celebratory weekend. After a good bit of sitting in my office today, followed by the three hours of driving, I now have some swollen ankles. I've got the swells! I done been swoll!

I've always had small ankles, and to look down to see the huge (really, huge, no joke) logs was a bit startling.

So the recipe to help keep the swell to a minimum is more water and more movement. There will come a point where I won't be able to fend it off, but at 17.5 weeks, I feel like I still have some control.

Already I've had to retrain myself how to sit at work. I'm a leg crosser. It's hard for me to sit and not cross my legs. But all that crossing mixed with some hormone who's job it is to make my ligaments go loosey-goosey was the root of all of the back pain I had. So, no leg crossing means a better aligned spine which means no back pain.

Now, I need to up the water flow. I feel like I do nothing but pee at work (which isn't true - as I have been kicking these last weeks) but if it means no cankles, then I'll shove it down the hatch.

Other than that all is well!

8 weeks

Dan left today to start his grueling study classes before he takes the Bar Exam on July 26th. He will be in Chicago for the next 8 weeks. I will go up and see him on some weekends, and then we'll fly to Josh's wedding, he come back and take the test, and then we wait. Who knows what will come first: the baby or his exam results.

I watched a movie this afternoon titled Pregnant in America. I wait until Dan is gone to do this sort of thing. As issues were being brought up, I was looking at websites to see what Illinois' policy was on 1) home birth 2) midwife & doula services 3) my doctor's cesarean statistics (no luck on that one...yet)

I searched out different types of classes in the area, when I "should" take them.

The movie took my emotions for a whirl with a healthy dose of personal stories from women who felt forced to deliver their baby in ways that went against their birth plan wishes. (I'm thinking...what's a birth plan?) Stories of doctors using drugs to induce labor that were specifically labeled to NOT use it on pregnant women, of scheduling surgeries to coincide with doctor's vacation days, of hospital staff not letting mothers hold their child in the NICU.

This probably wasn't the best movie to watch the first day of Dan being gone.

Freak out!

I'm guessing there are stages of pregnancy. I don't mean first, second, and third trimester. i mean, freak out, pretend calm, reality, real freak out, calm, discomfort, and real reality.

I've recently gone through reality and real freak out, all in the span of about four days.

Mom was here visiting for Miah and Jessie's graduation (woohoo! The Drs. are in the house!) and she wanted to spend some time with me. We went to a few different stores and had the opportunity to look at a lot of baby related products. A lot. It was an education. Holy cow, I have to decide how I'm going to parent, and that includes choosing between about 20 different types of dipers, feeding methods, to midwife or dula or doctor, to epidural or not to epidural, and the gear...do you know how many types of strollers there are? And bottles? I feel like I'm going to fail this test.

Did I mention various types of leaking? No one talks about the leaking and seeping...from various locations.

At this weekend's celebrations, I got to talk a bit with one of Jessie's friends who is in the process of weening. Her breasts were swollen and in pain, and she didn't want to pump to relieve the pressure, because not pumping is how your glands realize they don't have to make milk any longer. But it came to a point where she had to pump, and then there was open emotion as she poured her milk down the drain. All that good milk going to no one. Cue freak out.

I had never ventured mentally to the point where I would be weening. That detail wasn't a part of terrible twos, pre-school, elementary years, and beyond. No matter how much I read, how much I imagine, or how much I talk with people, I will never know everything that is going to be happening to me in the new process. This will not be all rainbows and glitter, mud pies and blanket forts.

I'm trying to make room in my brain for the late nights, early mornings, and inevitable disagreements between Dan and I. They will all come. We will get through it, but they can't be avoided. There are so many pit stops on this spectrum.

Lifting

I didn't realize how much lifting I do in my job now that I'm "not allowed" to lift anything. After coming back from my second doctor's appointment with a due date, 5the folks at work think I am incapable of lifting more than a few sheets of paper. It's sweet, and nice (I guess), but mostly I'm getting frustrated with my new feeble status. I fully admit that the order of 25 boxes filled with dictionaries is a task that I cannot do on my own, but I do think I can carry five hard cover books from the front window to the best seller shelf. Sigh.

Now the plus side to this is I am not responsible for carrying up the two buckets of cat litter we buy each month. That's a task I am happy to let Dan take over. He has said for a while that I have a problem asking for help, and yesterday when I was organizing the Cat closet after he purchased the newest sand pile, he was almost giddy that I asked him to lift the buckets into their spot. Score one for teamwork.

The fun fact I read today about this week in my pregnancy: Boo is growing a furry coat to help keep him/her warm. There just isn't enough body fat on the little babe to do the job. Interesting.

Appointment #2

Baby is growing. Everything is going along real well.

I had my second appointment today and got some great information: A due date! (or what I'm calling and estimate date of arrival or EDA) October 30th is when the magical doctor Nord predicts baby Swift will be here. He says today is the day he is marking me 14 weeks, and now I have a number to attach to all of these baby sites that will compare the babe (who I will refer to as "Boo," "Casper," or "Punkin" because of the relative closeness to that autumn holiday where ghosts and pumpkins are seen) to various sizes and types of fruits and vegetables.

This week: Lemon!