Thursday, July 7, 2011

Met the Midwife

I had a doctor's appointment today. Everything is good. Heard the Nugget's heartbeat and got my belly measured - I'm right where I'm supposed to be: 24 centimeters for my 24th week. I've gained 12 pounds since the start of this crazy ride, and that is just fine with me.

I met with a midwife today. She talked about what role she fills in the course my pregnancy, and then how she would help during labor. She explained when the doctor would have to take over and what sorts of procedures she is qualified to do herself (ie: epidural). I also asked about working with a Midwife and a doula, and she said many mothers work with both, which I was happy to hear.

Dan has been pretty open about know knowing how "able" he will be once labor starts, so I would like to help him out by having someone whose job is, well, me. He is happy to be there (well, I don't know if happy is the right word, but he will be where I want him to be, which is there in the room, seeing me in whatever state I happen to be in...Probably loud and in pain, as I'm not planning on having an epidural.) So I'm looking into having a doula.

My know a doula in Washington state, and seeing and reading stories from her life make it seem like a relationship that would be both helpful and completely welcome. I don't have a guarantee that my mom will make it for the birth (as it's hard to know really when the kiddo will come and plane tickets take a certain amount of planning) so having person who I know will be there only to insure that I have what I need, and has experienced birth before, makes me feel so much better about the whole thing. Granted, women have been having babies for thousands of years, so regardless of who is there, when she wants to come out, there will be no stopping her.

I just don't want to get stuck with a bunch of monitors and cords if I'm not in a high risk situation. I want to be able to walk around. I want to be able to get in a bath if I want to. I want to be able to eat and drink if I feel the urge to, and in all of my conversations, the midwife, Laura, and I are on the same page. I told her I was planning on laboring as much as possible at home before going into the hospital, and she supported that decision. Again, there will be signs that I'll be watching for to ensure I'm not going "too far" in labor at home, as I've promised Dan I wouldn't be having a home birth (poor guy. I told him all he has to do if it happens that way is not drop the baby, but that didn't seem to reassure him on his ability to perform. "Soft hands Swift! Just don't drop the kid!")

Now, if something were to happen that would make me incredibly unhappy, say, a million nurses start traipsing into my room and being rude, or having my baby taken away from me without finding out why, or a bunch strangers getting up in my breasts while I'm trying to bond and feed my child, I know Dan will be the first person to make sure it gets fixed. He will be my legs and my advocate. No question about it.

Yeah. 24 weeks down, 16 to go. Whoa.


  1. Your post summed up everything I've been feeling in the last few weeks. I'm leaning toward a doula too. I'm looking for someone who can help me make a decision based on medical necessity and not just fear. Of course, everyone else thinks I'm crazy, lol. Good luck!

  2. I've been reading quite a few "mom blogs" and it seems these feeling are more common than I first thought. I don't think we need all of the gadgets and monitors and equipment. I just want a safe environment to have a baby in! Is that too much to ask?

    I hope you find people that make you feel comfortable. :)

    And no offense to our partners (I'm sure Jamie will be wonderful for you) but this is a very womanly moment. I don't want to be upset with Dan when this isn't a moment where he has to be the one with all the answers. I'm sure they will both be caught up in the moment, just as we will be, and that is what I want Dan to be there for - to be in that moment.

    I'll let you know if/when I pick a doula and who it is :)