Auntie Nora!

Dan and I had a great weekend in Chicago. We were able to visit with friends, celebrate a birthday, see a friend's band in their first show, and share our news in person with the lots of people that care so much about us.

Dan's sister surprised us with baby gifts, two of which are shown. If you know Dan, you already understand that the onesie with instructions is perfect, as he's not had much time around babies. And the zebra is perfect coming from Nora, as she loves, loves, loves zebra print!
It was so sweet and so cute and it even inspired Dan to say, "That is really cute!" I am also part of the club of mommas that have the What to Expect When You're Expecting. That book is packed with info! I had no idea about so many (apparently common) pregnancy patterns! I have to be careful when I'm reading, as some of the ideas and thoughts cause me to feel a bit queasy.

I'm so excited for more to come! I've already got wonderful sisters in Ciara and Jessie, and I know that Nora will make both a great Auntie, and a fun friend to spend time with (as she has already shown to be beyond super cool. I mean zebras! Yes!)

Big week!

Dan proposed! After coming back from his weekend in Chicago to tell his parents about the baby, he did it, and some other time I'll write how it actually went down. But, I'm pregnant and engaged. Whoa.

So far, the baby is supposed to be about the size of a kidney bean. Next is a kumquat. Who comes up with these food comparisons? I'll have to find the link, but one clever photographer, who is going through pregnancy herself, has been snapping shots of her belly along with the accompanying fruit/vegetable. I like that idea.

Chicken

I feel like I've been acting rather rational and calm through all of this so far. When I first found out I was a bit hysterical but after that initial 15 minutes all has been smooth sailing - emotionally.

I'm still trying to figure out my stomach. Last week I had crazy need-to-have-this-instant cravings for chicken. On Thursday, I tried to plan ahead a little bit, and bought a rotisserie chicken from the deli with the plan to tear it apart and take it for lunch, snacks, or when ever that next crazy need happened to show up.

Well, I got it home and the moment I took it out of the bag and set it on the counter, I wanted nothing to do with the bird. The idea of sticking my fingers into it to work it apart, and then eating that meaty flesh, completely turned me off. I can't even look at it now.

Dan just came home from Chicago and I had to tell him my need-to-have-it, then now-I-can't-stand-it switch. To his credit, he said if that is the kind of impulse buying is in my pregnant future, he can handle it. Just no new cars. :)

Word is spreading.

Dan and I started telling our family and close friends about the baby a few days ago. Yay! You know now!

I'm doing pretty well with symptoms. I've only been sick twice, although I feel a bit woozy most of the time. And those two time, both were only after imagining a place or a food that was unappetizing and not from something I actually ate or smelled. Weird!

pre-doctor visit

Tomorrow I have my first doctor's appointment. Dan and I haven't really talked about anything, waiting until there is some licensed person out there telling him that yes, Ariel is pregnant. So, tomorrow could have some interesting post-appointment conversations.

I've come to understand a little bit of the ebb and flow of feeling ill. I don't eat very much, and I can't do the cracker thing all day long. I just can't handle it. I've found that orange juice, although not a common tummy calmer, works for me. That and very small meals. Very small. Small like, half-the-portion-they-tell-you-to-eat-on-the-box-per-serving small. I"m sleeping better, except for the night I dreamed (warning: gross!) I was going to the bathroom and a baby came out.

And really I know I'm pregnant,( or else super sick) but I don't know how far along I am. I am glad that will be out of the dark soon.

I also really want to tell my family, especially my sister. But I'll wait, until I know, and until I'm less of a risk for a miscarry. Plus, my mom can only handle so much stress, and with my brother and his fiance in Japan after the earthquake/tsunami, I think she's due for a little break.

The Smell!

I now plan out my trips to the grocery store - if I go at all.

Usually, Dan and I plan out what we need before we go, but this isn't what I'm talking about. My goal now is, how can I get from strawberries to potato chips as quick as humanly possible without going by the deli or the hot bar, and grabbing honey nut cheerios and maybe a box of triscuits? Dan will have to get milk, I had no idea the refrigerated section has an odor. Oh I forgot the peppermint tea! Go left!

This is how this wild ride started...well not really, but you know what I mean.

I just found out I think I'm pregnant. (Dan made me change that just now from "I'm pregnant" to "I think I'm pregnant.") Although I feel like I've been a super swell mother to my cats going on four years in May, I'm very happy to be going through a more traditional motherhood - the human kind. I'm growing a human!

Before I put 2 and 2 together I thought I was going crazy - my back hurt, I couldn't sleep, I felt a little off, but not so much that I took anything for it, and nothing sounded good to eat. Then early this week, the only thing that seemed to make me stable were saltine crackers. As Dan was driving me home after dropping off my car at the shop (which turned out to be the 4th water pump in 4 years!) it all came together in my head. I went home, peed on the stick, took a shower, and when I came out I saw the two pink lines like a neon sign - PREGNANT! PREGNANT! PREGNANT!

Dan and I had a nice talk about it, where he was way more stable and rational than me. We decide to not freak out (too late!) until we have some sort of "more official" results from a licensed professional.

The next day I had off and I couldn't bring myself to call for an appointment. I felt/feel like crap and whenever I get motivated to pick up the phone, I feel like I need to puke then sit down with more crackers and watch Oprah. Then Oprah is over, I realize it's 5 o'clock, and all the medical professionals in the world leave at or before 5. Great. I know Dan will be pissed with my seeming lack of care or concern for how he is feeling at this particular intersection of life, and when he gets home, he acts pretty much like I thought he would: in a long drawn out way he says "Ohhhhhh kyyyyyyyyy."

I try one last thing and called my happy, local, Planned Parenthood clinic. They were open! Until 7pm! But they do urine tests and not blood tests, so I nixed that option. I love that they accommodate their business hours for working folks who may not have the option to come in M-F 8am-4:30pm. Makes sense, right?

The next day I call my "regular" doctor (as regular as can be with living out of the city for two years) and get their answering service. I called at 4:32. Their office closes at 5 but they turn the machines on 30 prior to closing. What?!

The next day I call at 12:36. Their office closed at noon. I call two other OBGYNs in the area and same answer. Doesn't anyone work!? I need proof I'm pregnant! I can't go home, AGAIN, and tell my Dan that I don't have an appointment!

But I do.

So, officially, I'm not pregnant. Really, I could just have weird stomach ghosts and fake super smelling powers (no joke, I can smell everything like it's right in front of my face. The litter box gets cleaned twice a day now, I have to leave the room with Dan eats, and the couch...well I can smell the dust in the couch. It's creepy.) I could have a late period for other reasons, and I might feel tired because of lots of things.

I agree that we shouldn't freak out or tell people until a much later time, but I'm having a really hard time putting my Big Girl Face on and pretend that all is well. Work feels like eons. Eating is a battle. I can't remember things. It's like all this came out of nowhere and in (what feels like a day) I'm in a new body and I don't have an owner's manual!

I talked with three of the five grand parents today and all I wanted to do was share my news. But, I don't think it's fair to spill, if I really am all of those mysterious things instead of pregnant. So, mom, dad, Linda - I'm sorry I didn't tell you on the phone today when we spoke!

Oh god, it feels good to get some of this stuff out of my head! The other great thing about typing this all out - I didn't feel sick once while writing! Am I growing a lover of the Arts?!